he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
