i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
