covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
wanna go halves on a baby?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
