i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
