is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
