what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
