she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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