Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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