I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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