i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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