Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
