Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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