she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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