her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
