I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
