he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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