yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
