i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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