i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
