I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
