Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
