I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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