She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So drunk its hurt
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
