Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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