Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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