I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
