she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
