i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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