alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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