we're blogging at a bar
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
