It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
