Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
