In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
