i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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