you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
