He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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