why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
