So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
