When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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