I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How's work?
Spinning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
