Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
