for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
