He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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