I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
