gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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