If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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