please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
