Sponge bath it is.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We need a shit load of segways right now
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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