SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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