Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
